Monday, January 31, 2011

Things that I love part (I hope you're keeping count because I'm not):

1.  My snot nosed sicky baby.  He has the best attitude about being a total booger face.


2,  Homemade oatmeal golden raisin cookies for snack time!


3.  Finding a cute, flowy shirt I've had for years and wearing it for maybe the 3rd time.  Why have I neglected you so?


4.  Bath time is back!  Charlie loves her bath.


5.  Porch time!  It won't last long.  I'm sure winter's not done being a big fat jerk.  But today we're on the porch.  And it needs to be cleaned.  Boop.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I love (pt. 2,3,4...)

-That we're having one of the first sunny days (and a warming trend, lower 60's!) this whole winter.  I can open the curtains in the play room and let the sun work its magic!


-That the kids LOVE playing under the crib.  It's their clubhouse.  I'm not allowed.


-This face.


-Good gravy, and this face.


-The height difference.  All of their differences.  They are their own people.  And best friends.


I love today.

The very definition of a "bad day":

Charlie had a doctor's appointment yesterday, in Jackson.  I think I've mentioned this before, but Jackson, MS is about 2 hours from where we live.  It's kind of a long drive, but it's actually how long the kids nap, so sometimes it actually works out great.  Because we had an in office appointment, I figured I'd be fine to take Davey with us.  Joe had to work, and I'm already getting my parents to watch the kids Friday.  I didn't want to baby bomb them.  Plus, in office appointments are usually about 45 minutes long.  No big deal if you've got snacks and a favorite book or two.  Note to parents right here, that don't know it already:  when taking your kids out of the house ALWAYS BE PREPARED FOR THINGS TO BE A BIG DEAL.  Because it was a big deal.  This is Charlie's 4th or 5th cast now (I know, that sounds awful, and she's got 2 more to go), and any time she's had one taken off or changed they've done it at the children's hospital and given her anesthesia.  So I did not anticipate the cast coming off yesterday.  But hey, thats cause for celebration.  The cast was coming off right then and she'd have a month to be cast free and to just play and be.  Worth the aggravation the kids were going through because they were getting sick of the stroller.  We had to wait about an hour before they came in to take the cast off.  They finally came in and had this little saw and warned me that it's pretty loud.  Great.  Charlie is terrified of loud noises.  Davey's ok with most of them.  But not a saw apparently.  And I guess thats a justifiable fear.  So here we go - the saw is cutting off the cast while both kids are purple in the face from screaming bloody murder.  I can't hold Davey because I have to pin Charlie down.  Awful.  But it only took about 2 minutes.  Still, 2 minutes of screaming = a lifetime. 

But it's off:




I know what you're thinking.  Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to snap pictures of my miserable children.  I was thinking the same thing! We are so much alike...

After that she had some xrays, we looked at them with the doctor, and he said everything looked great!  So now we just needed to go across town and get the brace she'd be wearing for the next month.  Wait.  What?  This is my first time hearing about the brace.  A brace that looks more constricting than any cast she's been in.  And it's across town?  So I have to put my screaming kids in the car, drive them across town, only to have to get them back in the stroller they now despise?  You do it.  I'm out. 

Unfortunately that's not an option.

We go to the brace and limbs place and I got my miserable children (who were actually being really good sports by this point.  proud.), put them in the stroller, walked up to the door, "We are closed for lunch from 12:00-1:00".  It's 12:20.  MOTHER OF HOLY, why?  Baaaaaack in the car we go.  Luckily I somehow had a stroke of genius to bring the laptop and a Baby Einstein DVD in case of an emergency.  Emergency!  Finally it's 1:00, we get in, and proceed to wait.  The kids are still holding it together.  Until we get back to the room to fit Charlie for the brace.  They have officially had it.  Davey is just a ball of snot and Charlie is being possessed by some demon I've never even heard of.  A squirmy demon.  I could hardly blame her.  Oh, can I show you what this room looked like?


Plaster powder every where.  The kids kept sneezing.  It was insane.  And a lot of babies go to this place.  In fact there were 3 others in the waiting room.  And speaking of 3, thats the exact number of COLLECTIVE teeth the staff at this joint had.  You think I'm being ugly because I had bad day, don't you?  I'm not.  A dental nightmare.

We got home in one piece, and the kids were ecstatic to be home. 

The brace looked worse than it actually is.  She was still pretty stiff yesterday, understandably, but today she's moving like she always has.  It's got more give to it than I thought.  I guess I should've figured it would.  It's plastic and foam.  Look, I'm not a scientist.





Can't keep this delightful, charming baby down.  No sir.  Love it.  Love HER.

Thanks, Davey, for being a tough tiger.  At least everyone thought you were like 18 months older than Charlie (seriously.  No one figured they were twins.).  That's pretty cool right?

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Here Comes Your Man

Maybe it's the new job and all this time we have to spend apart, but sakes alive!  Joe and I have been on this great streak of happy days together.  That sounds like we never had them before.  We certainly did.  We're married, duh!  We must have had happy days, at least that one time.  But with two babies it's easy to get tense and forget to breathe.  Who knew breathing was a skill you could actually forget?!  Yikes.  We get right up under each others feet and being tired from the circus makes it really hard to not just want to go straight to bed, no talking, lets just pass out right now, as soon as the birds are down. 

This new job offers a new schedule for Joe and gives me time to run the show at home so I can feel like I'm actually contributing.  So I feel better.  And I've got the kids on a routine (though, truthfully, it's a pretty lax routine.  Outside of bedtime, anything is subject to change.).  And when dad gets home we're all so happy to see him and I'm ready to sit next to him and hear about his day and make him dinner.  OMG we are SOOOO Norman Rockwell, yall.  Gross.  Well not to me...

I've had this song stuck in my head every day that he's walked in the door since the new job started.  I romanticize my life sometimes.  Is that wrong?  Um, doubtful.  Get romantic, son!



Theme song!  Seriously I love this man...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Projects

I'm that person that has 5 million projects swirling around in my head and I generally only get about 2-3 done. I hate that about myself.  I know I have the ability, but the drive is lacking sometimes.  Still, I have a few projects that I'd like to start and I think I might actually get them done.  One is to make a quilt.  I tried my hand at a quilt while I was pregnant.  I still thought I was just having one, so I only made one, and it wasn't up to any professional quilter's standards.  But I love it. 


I really would love to make a bigger quilt. A quilt for family snuggling time.  One we can all get under and watch a movie together when the kids get a little older.  I imagine in the next year or so.  Which is how long it should take me to complete this, or any project.

I've been working on some stuffed animals and trying to make some patterns for some of these little guys.  With spring coming, little bunnies are going to become very popular and I'd love to make some Easter Basket pals! 

Will post pictures of stuffed animals TODAY.

Right after I turbo clean my kitchen and bathroom.  We got new cleaning supplies!!! Celebrate!!!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Lazy

Thats what I am today.  I'm SO tired.  We use a lot of white noise in our small house to make sure the kids aren't disturbed when they go to sleep.  Each kid has a fan in their room, a humidifier, and then there's a big fan in the hallway between their doors.  Around 3am, this morning, the power starts cutting off and on for about 20 minutes.  And it's pretty noticeable when the sounds start and stop.  This jolted Charlie out of sleep and it was pretty much impossible to get her back to bed.  Hopefully the kids will take a fat nap around 10.  And so will mommy!  Wewt!

I know.  I'm disgraceful.  But I 100% phoned it in this morning with breakfast:





Cereal suicide anyone???

I'm sorry, babies.  I'll do better with lunch.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Terrariums

Pardon me while I nerd out 70's style, but I am fascinated by terrariums as of late.  And I have this strong hope that at least one, if not both, of my kids will find these to be awesome as well.  I think they are nothing short of magical. 

I think the fascination started when I went to an art opening for my cousin, Tim Crowder, and he'd done a few pieces featuring miniature houses and pipes and other things, in these mason jars.  They included moss and were definitely of the terrarium persuasion.  I wanted to fill my whole house with them.  They've been stuck in my brain for years, and it would seem terrariums in general, are making a bit of a comeback.  I keep reading stories about them on other blogs or see them featured in magazines.  And this past Sunday, CBS's Sunday Morning did a feature on them:



(By the way, does anyone remember when Serena Altschul was a correspondent for MTV news?  I thought she was so cool, with her super short blonde hair and her "I hate most of you people watching MTV" attitude.  Man she was too rad...)

I called my dad as soon as I saw this piece and told him this year I wanted to start making some wood framed, boxed terrariums.  I'd like to put little figurines inside of them too.  Maybe make hanging terrariums.  I'd love to have them in the kitchen.  Or along the walls of the hallway.  I just love the idea of this tiny little ecosystem contained in this pretty, glass space.

Thanks Twig for some further inspiration:





Les do dis.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I'm the kind of mom...

...that gets up at 6am, knowing my kids will be up at 7, to make them whole grain blueberry muffins.  Yep.  Hate on me. 

These babies have been sleeping a solid 13 hours a night for the past few nights now that Charlie is straight, so I think they definitely deserve some made with love muffins. 

Yum!




(Charlie's picture just made the top 5 of favorite Charlie pictures)

Monday, January 17, 2011

I did it!/Good hair day

Whatever.  I know I look like one of THOSE people for putting these pictures up.  But I don't get out of my house much, I'm usually coated in food/drool/other baby disgustingness.  It's taken it's toll on me long enough.  As I've mentioned before, my resolution was to make my horribly low self esteem,  feel better.  I've lost my baby weight (took a little longer than I expected but there may have been some stress eating in the beginning there).  I'm a size 4-6, I'm 140lbs., and I feel like I have every right to celebrate that.  Because I was 175 when I was preg.  And only 10 pounds of that left my body after I had the babies.  So, I should be proud.  Also, I really like my hair today.  So much so that I got dressed, put on my new flats from Target, and took the kids to Wal-mart.  Oh yeah.  I do it up big. 

Seriously.  Whatever.

(Oh and I can't smile in pictures I take of myself if I want to look, ya know, super cool.)


November 27th, 2009

It seems basically impossible. Over a year since the twins were born. Everyone says time flies with kids, but you can't fathom just how quickly till you actually have them. At the same time, with things like colic and teething and colds and (for some) surgeries, time moved so slow. My only regret this past year has been the times I thought "I can't wait until ___ is over and they start doing ___". I wish I hadn't wished for time to move past something. Because it's been a year and I'm already finding myself wishing for time to move backward.

I've never written out the story of the day the kids were born, so I thought I'd share the specifics of that day. If for no other reason than to have them documented. But also because, to me, it's a pretty hilarious/terrifying/wonderful story.

I'll start at Thanksgiving day:

My parents were hosting the family Thanksgiving last year. There were going to be about 30 people packed into their house. I remember my stepmom being kind of a mess that whole week, making seating arrangements over and over and lists and finding dried leaves to make place cards with (despite how frantic she can get preparing an event, the woman can put on one heck of a get together). I'd volunteered myself to make baked mac and cheese and this AWESOME Martha Stewart cranberry cornbread. And as soon as I'd volunteered I thought "Well congrats, Maggie. You've officially bitten off more than you can chew." At 34 weeks pregnant with twins, I was basically tired all the time. Standing up for longer than 15 minutes was exhausting. My ankles were finally starting to swell and I was around the size of a 3 to 4 bedroom house. But I really wanted to cook. Call it the new domestic supermom in me, but this was something I wanted, no HAD TO, do. So Thanksgiving morning I was in that kitchen, cooking like an idiot. I took a lot of breaks and my two little birds were throwing a party the whole time, kicking me like mad.

Cooking was done, family had all gathered, my husband and I sat with my cousins and we joked about how it would be hilarious (not hilarious) if I went into labor right there in front of everyone on Thanksgiving day. Later, we all hung out in the backyard, playing bag-o and watching football on the tv my dad had set up near the fire pit (its a lot less redneck than it sounds). I kept having these weird...pains. Kinda like cramps, but mostly like the feeling you get when you eat too much greasy food. I didn't think a thing about it. Clearly the sweet potatoes and the mac and cheese and the pie were all creating chaos in my tummy. I'll take some tums when I get home.

Home we went, and I told Joe "NOW we can officially start celebrating Christmas!", which meant I wanted to watch Home Alone 2: Lost in New York in bed as soon as we got in the house. I fell asleep halfway through, still having these weird digestive pains, but I figured theyd be gone soon and this was a nice end to my Thanksgiving. Perfect even. And then I woke up at around 1:30am, my tummy hurting a little more intensely than before. It would come in waves and then go away. This happened for at least an hour and a half before I actually thought, "holy crap, is this contractions?!" And when I said that to Joe he said "shut up, thats not whats happening...is it?" He was terrified. WE were terrified. We called his sister, a nurse, and I told her what I was feeling. She asked if the pain was in my back now and I said yes and she said she would go ahead and call the hospital and go over there and get it checked out. Here's the problem - we were set up to have the babies at Germantown Baptist Hospital...TWO HOURS from where we lived. I was still in Memphis when I found out about the babies and saw my o.b. there and thats how it happened. Plus we were having a planned c-section, so we thought it would be fine. So I called hte on-call nurse at my o.b.'s office and described to her what was happening. She told me I should make my way to the hospital, this was contractions. And they were about 5 minutes apart. I told her how far we were and she simply said, "Well you better go now!" It's about 5am, still dark outside, and deer are a really big problem on the roads here in rural Mississippi in the fall and in the dark. I tried to keep my calm as the pain got more intense, knowing Joe was on the verge of a total freak out. We got to Batesville (about 40 minutes away) and the discomfort was getting to be constant. And it was making me sick. Joe asked what I wanted to do. Oxford was another 20 miles away but much nicer than the Batesville hosptial, Tri-Lakes, which is affectionately nicknamed "Die-Lakes" because of their bad reputation. "I can't have my babies at Die-Lakes," I kept telling myself. We sped towards Oxford and got about 5 miles down the road before the contractions started making me physically ill. Joe pulled over and I literally pulled a Linda Blair on the road. Poor Joe was gagging at the sight of his pitiful, swollen wife who couldnt even bend over to throw up because my stomach was as hard as a rock. Finally, right then and there I had to make a decision: go to Tri-Lakes and hope for the best, or have these babies in the car because there's no way we'll make it another 20 minutes.  I told Joe to go to Tri-Lakes.  I was doing my best to not freak out or cry or yell in pain.  Joe was so freaked out (rightfully so) and I just wanted to prevent a heart attack.  We pulled up to the hospital, the parking lot had, like, 5 cars in it at about 6am, Joe went in for a nurse and she came out with a rickety old wheel chair.  After the nurse ran me into the curb about 3 times, we were in.  It wasn't long before they were checking me out, measuring contractions, seeing where the babies were and what they were doing.  My water broke as soon as I got on the bed.  They examined me and Davey was ready to go!  It was too late for pain killers and the doctor said if a surgeon didn't get there soon, I'd have to deliver naturally.  I broke my pelvis in 7 places a few years back so naturally was off the table until that very moment.  And the surgeon was on call.  He wasn't, like, at the hospital or anything.  That would be silly.  So he finally arrives but he doesn't have keys to the operating room.  WHAT?!  That's a thing?  That happens?  Apparently at Tri-Lakes it does.  So now we're waiting for keys.  Somehow the cosmos aligned, everyone showed up on time, and I was able to have the c-section.  The wheeled me into the operating room, but not before mistaking Joe for one of the surgeons and almost having him sign off on some medical documents that a doctor should sign.  The spinal epidural didn't take so I was going to have to be put out completely.  At this point I'd held it together.  I never screamed.  What good was losing it?  But I finally got scared.  Still, I trusted God, the surgeon, and any good kharma I had stored up.  It was about 7:20am or so.  I came to around 9am, and it was all over. 

I had two babies now.  Two itty bitty wonderful babies.  They wheeled me by the window and I saw them for the first time.  I remember thinking "Everyone has this reaction I'm sure, but my babies really ARE the most beautiful babies I have ever seen!".  I remember I said that a lot.  To everyone.  "Most babies come out all squished looking and weird, but mine didn't!  They're perfect!"  While I still think they're perfect, looking back at photos from the hospital, they were a little squished. But still just perfect.

It was a month before we got them home, but ever since then, every day, stressful or not, has been amazing.  Charlie was 3 pounds 11 ounces and  Davey was 4 pounds 5 ounces.  They're now both around 20-23 pounds, Charlie is so chatty and a daredevil, Davey is incredibly tall and sensitive.  They're these little people now.  They won't stop growing.

I'm just glad I can remember that day so well, still.  That day when they were so tiny and brand new. 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

This is MY day...


What am I going to do with it?  Well it's already 4pm and I haven't done much.  I need to buy fabric before I can really do anything work related.  The holidays and the snow have put a big damper on any fabric shopping as of late, though.  I'm thinking next weekend.  Yeah, I'll go then.

For now, however, I don't have fabric to work with so I guess I can't do too much.  And really that works just fine.  I haven't had a mommy day in awhile.  It's pretty nice.  Though I do miss my family.  They'll be home in a couple of hours.  CRAP!  A couple of hours?  I only have a little while longer to veg out.

I wanted to clean and organize...maybe start a few projects around the house...but it's cold and cloudy and I woke up sick this morning and I'm still in my pj's.  I just don't have the drive.  It's been a long week.  A good week, but a long one.  I think I will give my self permission to continue to be useless.  Though I will change out of pj's and put some make up on because I really want to stay married.  And my husband would have every right to leave me if he saw me right now.

I did work on one little project.  It's one I'd already started, but I finished it up.  I'm going to bring several of these over to Squared this week so they can be out in time for Valentine's.




I tried really hard not to get my face in this picture.  I have a scratch on my cheek from a Charlie claw.  She was really excited about snack time.  Too excited if you ask me.  My face suffers for their happiness.

Saturday mornings

When I was little, maybe 4 or 5, I remember my parents would get us up on Saturday mornings and we'd have pancakes for breakfast while listening to Paul Simon's album, Graceland.  I have to tell you, this is one of the most specific childhood memories I have.  I don't think I can eat pancakes or hear that album without immediately transporting back to that time, just a little bit.  I knew when I started my own family, that would be a memory I'd want to recreate in my own home. 

So this morning, after the kids slept the whole night through (yay!  we're FINALLY getting back on track post holiday), I put them in the living room to play while I made heart shaped pancakes.  I don't have a copy of Graceland anymore...in all my moving it most have gotten lost.  But I found a cd I made for Joe when we first started dating, full of happy little love songs and I felt like that would be just as nice as ol' Paul singing to us as we ate. 

And happy it was.




We love pancakes.

I should've cleaned my stove before taking that first picture.  Can you handle the reality???

As I mentioned, we listened to an old mixed cd I'd made for Joe.  I wanted to share one of the songs on it because it's just so perfect.  I didn't know how perfect it was until I was married and the kids came along and all that "marriage is work" stuff started to make more sense.  While this song is sung from a guys perspective, I feel like it can apply to anyone. 



I wish I could do better by
you
Cause that's what you deserve
You sacrafice so much of
your life
In order for this to work
While I'm off chasing my own dreams
Sailin' around the world
Please know that I'm yours to keep
My beautiful girl

Goosebumps.  Like, everytime. 

I love you, Joe.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Diaper covers!!!

I'd eventually like to compile a list of tips that I've either gathered from other hip baby moms or learned on my own with Charlie, like I've seen other hip baby blogging moms do.  But for now I'll just point out this one tip for spica casts.  Having a diaper cover is FANTASTIC.  My wonderful sister, Hannah, sent us this one and I'm loving it.  When you're at the hospital, having just gotten the cast on your baby, the nurses might suggest, as a diapering tip, to shove one diaper in the cast as best you can and then put another diaper on over the cast to make sure the diaper doing the work, stays in place.  However, if you're good at math, that means twice as many diapers.  In my case, it's diapers for triplets.  Yes, you can reuse that diaper that goes over the cast SOMETIMES, but a lot of the time, it gets soiled too.  Here's where a diaper cover is super handy!  It's vinyl and wipes clean and having two or three of these in your house will make things A LOT easier.  Plus you can find a lot of cute diaper covers with patterns and colors.  Pants are a hard thing to make work on a spica cast, so if it's warm enough, a cute diaper cover can go with a little dress better than any pair of bottoms! 




These are also great if you're going the cloth diaper route (Carey) and the Thirsties brand (seen here) are really inexpensive.  I believe my sister ordered this one from Target online.  I haven't noticed any in their stores, however. 

LOVE our diaper cover!  Thank you sweet sister aunt lady!!!

I love...

Breakfast time.  I love being in the kitchen with the kiddos.  I've had big dreams of making the kitchen a place we could all hang out, especially when they get a little older and can help me cook.  Have you seen those Rice Crispy Treat commercials with the mom and her little girls make rice crispy treat wands?  It's so sweet.  That's what I picture.  Except, ya know, Davey isn't a girl.  His can be a sorcerers wand.  Yeah.

Right now the kids like getting in the cabinets and pulling out bowls and measuring cups.  Any and all contents of the cabinet, really.  It's wonderful to have these two reminders of what real joy is.  It's so simple.  It's banging a bowl on the ground and thinking the sound is funny.  It's loving the bright colors in the kitchen and getting to go on the other side of the baby gate to have a real adventure in the cabinets. 

They make every day so happy:





I also love this:


All the time.  One sock is lost to the wind.  As much as I hate baby socks (it takes one round of laundry for baby socks to get lost forever), I love when this happens.  It's too cute.  Plus, with it being winter time, I miss seeing those chubby toes!  BABY FEEEEETS!

Finally, I leave you with this video of the bay bays talking and being awesome.  By the way, if anyone can help me figure out how t h to rotate a video on blogger, I'd be truly grateful for your advice.  In the meantime, I dunno, just tilt your head to the left.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

To do

Things I'd like to accomplish this week and next week:

1.  Dye my hair.  Nothing drastic or anything.  I just need some semi-permanent dye to condition my hair.  It's so dry!  Thanks a lot, winter weather.  And less sarcastically, thanks a lot pony tail holder.  Yous my only friend...

2.  Make some chicken noodle soup for dinner/Joe to take to lunch.  I wanna be the wife that sends him off with a bag lunch everyday.  Maybe even with a note inside.

3.  Order some oil cloth so I can MAKE a lunch bag for Joe Joe.

4.  Start making plans to re-do the guest room/Charlie's room.  I plan to put the kids back together in a room when they move to their big kids beds, but that's still a bit down the road and I'd like for Charlie's space to be a little less...sad.  It's kinda sad.

5.  GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.  Stupid snow.  I'm just kidding, snow.  I didn't mean that.  Please don't get mad.  But, yeah, I need to get out.

6.  Make some plans with LB.  I miss my best friend.  I miss the extension of the non-mom side of me.  I need to make time for this.

7.  Go fabric shopping.  I've got aprons and clothes and animals and orders to make!  What am I doing?!  Winter lull is not for those who actually have things to do.  Must shake this.

8.  Paint my sad book shelves.  Ya know, those el cheapo book shelves you can get at Wal-mart for, like, $30?  Yeah that's what I'm working with.  But with a coat of fun paint and maybe some decoupage on the shelf back, they could be more tolerable.  I'd like to take some of my dark furniture and lighten it up.  I have a brown leather couch, and I don't plan on painting it because that's stupid, but maybe some simple, bright throw pillows.  Joe's going to love more throw pillows!

9.  Frame and hang more pictures!  I want the walls covered.  But I should paint all of my frames I think.  Different shades of white and pale yellow maybe?  I'd like to brighten the whole house a little.  It's a small house so a little brightness might open it up more.

10.  Actually CLEAN, clean the house.  Not just spot clean.  If I could really focus on one room a day, while the kids were napping or in their play room.  That would be ideal.  Spot cleaning isn't cutting it.  I need bleach and magic erasers. 

11.  Make the kids play room a little more lively.  My dad sent me this photo today:


I'd love to do something like this on the wall to go along with the hot air balloon painting I have hanging up in the room already.  The walls are green in the play room, but I have some ideas about how to make this happen.  Maybe add some chalk board painted squares too for when the kids get ready to draw. 

12.  Organize my closet.  I wish I weren't known by my friends and family for creating "the pile" all the time, but, sadly, I am.  It's pretty terrible.  Must. Stop.

13.  Feed the kids some  lunch and put them down for a nap because judging by their fussiness, it's that time.

Bye!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Sleeeeeeeeep

I remember it fondly.  I know I'm not the only mommy with babies that create sleeping issues.  But when my kids were about 7 months, I finally got serious about making a strict routine so that we could ALL sleep and be happy through the day.  This routine wasn't just about me.  I mean I benefited, sure, but we all needed to sleep.  I did crying it out with Charlie.  Davey never really required it.  He needs a little rocking but then he's off to sleep through the night.  Cake.  Don't get me wrong, he gives us trouble some times, but I'd say at least 5 nights out of 7 he sleeps well, unless he's teething.  But Charlie and sleep have NEVER been friends.  And with her condition, it's forgivable.  However, I found myself (and still do) making excuses for her.  I knew at 7 months, after having doctors tell me and after just being around her, that she wasn't uncomfortable.  She was just used to this certain way, and I had to change that habit.  I had to enforce mom rule and though I wasn't crazy about crying it out, it's what my mom did and I guess that's how I became comfortable with it.  It worked within 3 days, tops.  She responded so well and I was really proud that at 7 months I had TWO babies sleeping through the night.  Rock star. 

Here we are at almost 14 months and it's a whole new song and dance.  Well, for Charlie anyway.  Davey has stayed consistent.  He's a different kid from Charlie all together.  Other than the fact that they both came out of my tummy at the same time, there's no way you can tell they're twins.  Anyway, Charlie has gone back to her ways of telling me when she feels like getting up (usually around 10pm, 2am, and 4am...all in one night) and that she doesn't have to take a nap if she doesn't want to.  I know that not every day can be perfect but stretches of napless days and sleepless nights are not ok.  Not in our house.  This disrupts 3 people.  Now if I had just one I could maybe figure out a strategy that works for one.  But I have two.  And Davey isn't napping or sleeping like he would and should.  So I'm coming to the conclusion that I may have to go through crying it out all over again.  I talked with our pediatrician and he recommended the same.  The doctors say she shouldnt be in pain and if she is at all it should be manageable with motrin.  I took her off the painkillers within 2 weeks of coming home because she didnt seem to need them.  And for a minute there, she was napping and sleeping great.  We had 3 straight days of perfection.  Some of the problem is coming off of a month and a half of craziness, with surgery, Christmas, colds, snow days...but I have to set the tone.  I have to bring us back to reality.  And I'm afraid reality includes crying it out.  Again.  I've read up on the Plantely method (thanks Betsy!) and tried it a few nights and it didn't work at all.  I don't know if it's because I already did cry it out with her so maybe this new method is just confusing?  I'm willing to try it again though.

I'm busy reading up on sleep solutions for a baby in a spica cast.  I'd like to make sure before I try anymore sleep methods, that I'm as sure as I can be that she is comfortable since, ya know, she can't tell me.  Should I roll a towel up to put under her leg?  She can roll from her back to her tummy now so that shouldn't be an issue anymore.  Should I give her a night light?  She went through a scary period there and I can understand giving her added security with a night light.  Or is that just another habit to break later? 

Say what you will about Facebook, because I've said it too, but it has become a great spica cast resource for me.

Currently I'm reading these blogs.  I realize this may be useless to some, but for close friends and family with a shared interest in Charlie's condition, these are some of the more enjoyable/informative site's that I've found:

Raising Madison
Hip Baby
Hip Dysplasia Baby
Violet's Blog
And Baby Makes Chaos

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Perspective


This article in New York Magazine (via ali loves curtis) was really interesting for me to read on a day where my kids have been less than cooperative.  We didn't have good naps today, Charlie woke me up at 2am, Davey was up by 5am, Charlie has a scratch on her face from Davey getting mad at her and Davey got his hand smashed by Charlie getting back at him.  The volume has been cranked to 13 throughout the day.  There's also been cute moments and I know that my parenting experience isn't typical, but still, I know that even with just one, you can't anticipate how hard it will be.  And even if you think "I know it'll be hard in the beginning, but it's worth it", yes it is worth it, but you can't anticipate just how long that "beginning" actually is.  Not to freak out any future mothers that might read this, but the beginning is NOT a month or two. 

Reading this article made me feel good and bad.  I don't hate parenting.  I almost hate some days.  But I don't hate parenting.  It's my life.  I don't want to hate my life.  So I feel bad that I related to a lot of this article.  On the other hand, I appreciate that there's actual statistical data that supports feelings the way I do sometimes.  Charlie and Davey are beautiful amazing people and I am blessed that they are part of my life. I'm lucky the came to me. I will always feel that way.  But it's hard, yall.  Kids are hard.

My dad and I have had a lot of back and forth about this (he's who I call when I have the full on melt downs with the crying and everything) and I emailed him a link to this article.  This was his response, for those looking for further perspective (like me):

This passage says it all. You need to read "Home Work" by Wendell Berry. I've got it at home. I'll show it to you later.
I certainly feel blessed by having children, although I don't feel like I did all that much raising. Maybe that's the point. Maybe people put TOO MUCH into this raising thing. Keep them from killing themselves and others, get them grown...
If I have one over arching regret it's that I didn't require enough chores of my children. They need chores to feel like productive members of the family. Wendell says it better. I'll show you that essay.

"Before urbanization, children were viewed as economic assets to their parents. If you had a farm, they toiled alongside you to maintain its upkeep; if you had a family business, the kids helped mind the store. But all of this dramatically changed with the moral and technological revolutions of modernity. As we gained in prosperity, childhood came increasingly to be viewed as a protected, privileged time, and once college degrees became essential to getting ahead, children became not only a great expense but subjects to be sculpted, stimulated, instructed, groomed. (The Princeton sociologist Viviana Zelizer describes this transformation of a child’s value in five ruthless words: “Economically worthless but emotionally priceless.”) Kids, in short, went from being our staffs to being our bosses."

This was the part that stuck out most to me:

“I think this boils down to a philosophical question, rather than a psychological one,” says Gilovich. “Should you value moment-to-moment happiness more than retrospective evaluations of your life?” He says he has no answer for this, but the example he offers suggests a bias. He recalls watching TV with his children at three in the morning when they were sick. “I wouldn’t have said it was too fun at the time,” he says. “But now I look back on it and say, ‘Ah, remember the time we used to wake up and watch cartoons?’ ” The very things that in the moment dampen our moods can later be sources of intense gratification, nostalgia, delight.


It’s a lovely magic trick of the memory, this gilding of hard times. Perhaps it’s just the necessary alchemy we need to keep the species going. But for parents, this sleight of the mind and spell on the heart is the very definition of enchantment.

I love being a mom.  Sometimes I have to remind myself of that and even convince myself of that, but I love being a mom.  These babies are wonderful.  Truly.

Hubs

I just want to take a second to mention my wonderful husband.  If you know Joe at all, you know he's one of the most sincere people you could meet.  He's incredibly smart while not being a snob about it.  He's so down to earth and grounded and he's absolutely hilarious.  We went out the other night for his birthday and I just kept thinking "I don't think I laugh with anyone as much as I laugh with Joe".  He's delightful, people.  Just delightful.

Since Joe and I have been together (almost 2 years now), he's been working at a job he hates.  It's a job that has broken his spirit at times, or has just made life not as happy as it could or should be.  He's worked there, however, to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table along with other luxuries to make us comfortable.  Joe gives everything he has to our little family.  He's got a college degree and he's so widely talented, but in this job market, it's so hard to find something that actually appreciates how capable you are. Right now, just keeping a job is a big enough goal.  Yesterday Joe started a new job.  He's working for a company that will pay him more, give insurance to all of his family, and where he can climb the ladder and really see the fruits of his labor.  He's got a job where he can be happy and then he can bring that happiness home to us, and we all LOVE seeing daddy happy.

2011 has already brought us so much joy, with the news of Charlie's recovery going better than ever expected, our wonderful snow storm, Davey starting to take his first steps, and now Joe starting his new job.  I'm so grateful for all of these things.  And I know I wouldn't have the joy that I have if it weren't for that husband of mine.  He gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love.  And I love him back.  Like a crazy person should.