Thursday, February 24, 2011

Things I love (adore even...)

1.  Bread crust crowns.  Davey is the sandwich king!

2.  This face of Charlie's. She's been going through expression phases.  She's so animated.  Last week it was opening her mouth as wide as she could.  This week is scrunching her face up really tight.  Funny girl.

3.  Charlie is the messiest eater and Davey keeps his food organized.  Does that seem backwards?  They break stereotypes.  Don't put'm in a box.

4.  My dreams are coming truer everyday.  Look at that curly hair.  Little corkscrews all over.  Davey has the nice neat curly while Charlie's are as wild as she is.  Im so in love.

5.  Miss Priss bunny I made yesterday.  She is modeled after my vision of what Charlie will be at 3.  Although I have a feeling she'll be far from prissy given the previous photos in this post...

When it rains

That expression has a way of being true so often in my life.  Yesterday it happened both literally and figuratively.  Not every day can have the perfect stride.  Truth be told, I've been pretty blessed with good day after good day here lately.  After a weekend with their grandparents (both sets) both of the babies were separated from us and from each other and they both had their batteries recharged by the time they got home.  Suddenly a flow came back to our home.  With 15 month olds, most of the days of being up every night are gone.  There's teething still and baby mares (not baby horses, nightmares...ha!) and the occasional midnight poo that Charlie is just not cool with.  But all in all those moments have passed.   Still, to have two consecutive weeks of straight good behavior, consistent 2-3 hour naps every day and consistent 11-12 hours of sleep each night, I'd say I've hit something of a jackpot.  So the universe was due to balance itself out.

I mean it wasn't my worst day (reference that day I went to Jackson for Charlie's brace).  And they still took a 3 hour nap.  But they were so cranky when they were awake!  Davey seems to be going through a fussy period which could be growth spurt stuff or teething stuff or Charlie's all up in his face stuff.  Either way he whined like a champ yesterday.  And when I wouldn't let him throw all of the dvd's off of their shelves, he tore my "ABC"'s off of the wall and ripped them up.  It's pushing it to think a 15 month old did this on purpose.  But I think he might have.  There was biting and crying and milk spilled every where.  It was hard to keep up.  Meanwhile I was dealing with our new cell phone company who have dragged us through the mud for a solid 2 weeks now and I still have no cell phone in my hand.  I'm not good at being aggressive or angry.  But I may have mastered it yesterday.  I finally get that joke from Community about Britta being "the AT&T of people".  TOTALLY makes sense. 

When I just couldn't get the kids to chill, I put them in the stroller and started off on a nice walk down our hill.  And of course as soon as I got to the bottom of our hill a sudden down pour came out of no where.  Have you ever pushed a double stroller with twins (about 50lbs all together) up a steep gravel hill while running?  Me either.  It sucks.  I feel like I probably don't even have to tell you that.

But I got them fed and bathed and in the bed by 7pm, I let JLo on American Idol make me cry even though I swore after I saw Selena in 9th grade that I wouldn't let her do it again,  and I ate my sugar free Jello Pudding (I know...I live the coolest life).  I got in bed at 9pm, fully ready to let go of this day and start over tomorrow.  But in true the universe hates me fashion, 11pm - Davey screaming bloody murder which wakes up Charlie who starts screaming bloody murder and 2 and a half hours later I finally am able to drag myself back to bed.  This doesn't happen often anymore and after last night, I am kissing and hugging and thanking my babies for that.  It sucks worse than that gravel hill thing.

Today is a new day, however.  And while the weatherman predicts a huge thunderstorm this evening, things around here are pretty swell.  My kids are in a great mood after a fat nap and a big lunch and since I've pushed naptime a little later in the day, we can now coast for the next 4 hours before dinner, bath, bed.  And it's Thursday, dudes.  That can only mean one thing - MY SHOWS, mane.  My shows. 

Yep, today it might rain, but we're staying nice and dry.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Crafty thang

I've been a bad blogger, man!  But in my defense I've been (once again) sick with some horrible looming sinus crud while also trying to enjoy this recent miracle that came to us in the form of sunny, 70 degree weather this week.  On top of that, I've been really trying to stock up my apron inventory as well as other items for other stores.  That's a pretty good defense, yeah?

I don't want to wish time or winter away, but I guess I'm officially joining the masses now that I know what I've been missing.  This week has been nothing short of beautiful.  Today is a little cloudy but its still springy.  We've gone walking everyday (in fact I think we'll go again right after I post this).  The kids have been sleeping better, having lost their cabin fever.  I've seen daffodils pondering the idea of making an early appearance.  There's one just outside our screened porch that's been keeping me in suspense all week. 

In the meantime I've got these to satisfy any spring flower cravings:

My husband loves me.  Or at least he did on Monday!

Anyway, on to the craftyness.  Apparently my itch for spring inspired some of my fabric choices.  Also, I had a 50s-60s type thing going on when I was shopping for fabric the other day.  Who knows where these things come from.  I just know what I like.

The full apron might have to stay home with me.  At least long enough for me to make an apple pie.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Hard knock life

Eh, that's a wee bit dramatic.  It is not a hard knock life, this life I've got.  But for all the "how do you do it with twins?" questions I get, I have to admit, having twins is not the hard part of being a mom.  Or a stay at home mom, anyway.  The hard part is the lack of socialization with other adults.  I moved from Memphis, TN to little tiny Cascilla, MS because I had this desire to strip myself away from over socialization (that and the desire to be close to Joe as soon as humanly possible).  I was one of those people who checked their phones for text messages non-stop.  To the point that everyone pointed it out all the time.  I felt nervous when I was alone.  I was always out, doing something, no matter how tired I was or how early I needed to get up the next morning.  It got to the point where I was late all the time and I was becoming this social monster that couldn't live without "something" to do.  I made myself busier than I ever needed to be and completely surrendered my sanity.  So it's weird now that I'm on the opposite end of that pendulum.

I don't want my old life back.  Let me just make that clear.  I love where I live, I love my husband and my kids, I still see friends from time to time.  Life as it is, is good.  But life can be good and hard at the same time, ya know?  It's hard to be inside my head all day.  I spend the entire day with two (beautiful) little people who can't talk.  And even if they could, they'd hardly be the people I vented my frustrations to.  Or talked to about stuff...adults talk about, seeing as how they are not adults and won't be for awhile.  It's easy to let demons in my head because it's hard to keep my head busy.  As a creative person, I can create all kinds of stuff in my mind and send myself into an absolute frenzy. It's not good.  And I feel like I'm losing control of it sometimes.  In all the time I spent preparing myself for sleepless nights and dirty diapers and even the things I didn't prepare for, like Charlie's surgeries, I never even thought about how absolutely lonely being a stay at home mom can be.  You're so busy the whole day.  You never really stop moving and doing.  Still, it is completely lonesome.  I find it makes me more paranoid and emotional.  I'm not a fan of that.

That is, in part, why I wanted to start this blog.  As a means of having someone to talk to.  Some days it's hard to find the time to even write, but it's nice to have that place to channel things. 

I was watching one of my new favorite shows, Raising Hope, the other night and in the episode, Jimmy, a single dad and the main character, is talking about how hard it is to be social when you've got a kid.  You pretty much have to socialize with other parents because they're the only ones that truly understand what this life is like and the only ones who actually do want to talk about babies non-stop (I find friends who don't have kids can only be good sports about hearing about your kid teething for so long).

Here's the episode if you've got free time and you life to laugh.

I'm just glad I'm not the only one.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Snow and Ice and everythings NIIIIICE

This winter has easily given us Mississippi folks the most snow I've ever seen in my entire life.  This includes two major snows, both with 6-8" of snow!  It's been pretty major.  Of course, given that we don't get a lot of snow and given that a lot of our snow is less powder and more ice, the snow has lost its magical effect on most everyone down here.  I certainly look forward to the spring like everyone else.  I look forward to getting the kids out of the house and onto some swings at the park.  I look forward to the kiddie pool in the summer and using the screened in porch more. 

But for the next several weeks, it's still winter.  And yesterday was a not so subtle reminder of that.  The snow started around 11:30am and kept going past 9pm.  I opened the curtains on the big window in the living room and the kids kept crawling up to the ledge and staring out at the snow in complete amazement.  So I felt I had no choice but to bundle them up and let them enjoy this rare occasion.

Oh what fun it is...

Friday, February 4, 2011

Break out the Kleenex...

If you have a baby, or one on the way, or none at all, it's still heartbreaking to hear about a baby going through surgery.  Having to witness some of the things Charlie has had to go through with her condition has been really tough.  We're halfway done with only one more corrective surgery to go.  And we're so happy for that.  Still, we see the scars (there's four, all very painful to look at) everyday, with every diaper change or bath.  We see what our baby, this little tiny, wonderful baby girl, has had to endure.  It's tough.  I can't lie, Joe and I get emotional about it still.  But she toughs it out every day.  She makes US look like the babies.  She's so strong.  I read about my friends who have 10 month olds who are already starting to walk and I see videos of their babies taking first steps.  I'm so happy for all of my friends and their walking babies!  It's wonderful to see.  But I don't envy them either.  Instead I just watch my girl, knowing all she's been through and what she's got left, and I can't help but tear up in...I don't know...admiration I guess, when I see her take even the smallest steps...

It's important to just be happy with who YOU are, with what YOU can do, and to know that YOU, just like Charlie, are capable of strength and abilty beyond what you can even imagine. Push it, believe, don't dream it, be it.

Thank you, Charlie and Davey both, for inspiring me.

This week

I haven't been as good about updating the blog this week.  If you must know the real, God honest, couldn't be truer,'s because I've spent the majority of my week enjoying my kids.  Something I don't know that I've done enough of in the past month.  I guess with Joe starting his new job in January and not being around as much to help now, I've just been so busy trying to find a rhythm and trying to figure out how to make this work.  The truth is, before now, I've been beyond lucky to have Joe around through the days.  People ask how I do it with twins and the answer is Joe.  But it's a lot more me currently.  So I'm really starting to get a better sense of stay at home mommyhood.  It's an exhausting job.  And I don't think I'd want to do anything else. 

That being said, because I've been so preoccupied in the past few weeks with trying to just make it work each day, I've managed to forget to just have fun with the babies.  Laundry needs to be done, dinner needs to be prepared, it's pretty necessary that I vacuum every day or we'll be up to our knees in Cheerios by weeks end...but when do I just hang out with the babies?  One of the fortunate things about twins is that by age one, they are quite content playing with each other so you can get more free time than mothers who just have one.  And while I'm grateful for that, I think I may have been taking advantage of it to much.  I realized this week, while looking at a picture of Davey and how incredibly tall he is, that I'm missing it.  I'm missing the inches he's growing and the amazing literal strides Charlie takes everyday despite being in a brace.  Fortunately, I'm noticing this now, so I've spent this week hanging out.  On the floor.  Reading book after book.  Listening to Bon Iver and Okkervil River and Dean and Britta and Beirut and watching my kids dance and spin to my favorite songs.  It has been...delightful.  And I'm making a promise to myself to stop letting the time slip so easily.

They won't stop growing.  I won't stop loving their faces.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

My kids may very well be total weirdos

It's my fault, though.  Genetics with an added touch of them just watching my every day behavior.  Pre-destined weirdos.  But they're funny weirdos!  I spend a large portion of my day laughing.  What else can you do? 

My mom tells this story about me as a baby.  I liked to "bump" pretty much non stop.  "Bumping" was the act of me rocking while bumping my head and back against something.  She talks about how I'd fall asleep doing it and she'd come in my room and simply say "Lay down, Maggie" and in my sleep, I'd lay down.  How creepy does that sound?!  My favorite "bumping" story is the time i was bumping in the crib one night and my mom had gone to lie down herself.  She heard this horrible crash coming from my room and thought the worst - someone had broken through the window in my room and they were coming to steal me (I'm sure I was a super steal-able baby.  I'm adorable!).  But as she ran into my room, there I was, on the floor, in a pile of broken crib, still bumping.  I'd bumped so much that I eventually broke my crib. 

To this day I still rock back and forth, particularly if I'm nervous.  Which is all the time.  I'm a very nervous person.

And it would seem I've passed my habits on to my kids:

Though Davey is the only one bumping in this video, Charlie is also known to bump a lot as well. When she's not being filled by the Holy Spirit: