My theme song.

I'm pretty sure even the straightest ladies have to remeasure themselves on the Kinsey scale when they so much as see Karen O's face. Hawt.

Happy!

The kids are watching Yo Gabba Gabba (the Happy! episode) while eating their snacks so I've snuck away to blog.  Is that absentee parenting, by the way?  I mean they haven't watched it all day.  They've spent the majority of their time in the play room, playing with each other.  Then they napped, had lunch, and now we're having snack time.  Why do I feel so guilty when I turn the tv on?  I don't let them watch constantly.  Just get off my back, cricket.

We've had such a good little day and a half.  I wish I were feeling better.  I wish the kids were too.  But we all take it in stride.  Because we are so very brave and awesome. 

If that's not making lemonade out of lemons, I don't know what is.  These kids...they sure are happy/sweet/perfect/ohmygodilovethem.

Also on an unrelated but at one time it was related note, I made a post earlier about treating myself better.  But I'm sick right now.  So how do I dress to make myself feel better?

$5 Walmart Pajama shirt, yall!  At least I'm clean.  As indicated by the shower that is obviously behind me.  Im a kick-a photographer. Geez...I could've at least, ya know, pulled the shower curtain closed.  Dumb.

Resolutions

Anyone else think resolutions are kind of silly?  I think resolutions kind of set us up to fail.  Rarely is a resolution an actual realistic goal.  But this year I think I'd like to think of resolutions in a different way.

I was thinking the other night about what my New Year's resolution would be.  It was funny because I was thinking about it in this obligatory way.  Like, "oh man! It's almost New Years and I haven't thought of a resolution.  Better get crackin!", as though the New Year's police might take me away to New Years jail if I don't come up with something.  Then I thought about how New Year's resolutions are actually kind of a nice concept.  The idea of taking time out, maybe even just that one time a year, to stop, think, and really evaluate what you'd like to improve about yourself or your life.  Everything and everyone deserves to feel the rewards of striving to be better.  We should all be the best versions of ourselves.  And while that's hard to do (like for instance when you have baby poop on your hands), it's a good thing to try to do. 

So this year I'm going to make my resolution more about making myself feel better and by extension being a happier person so that I can be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend.  And while it sounds superficial, I'm going to start by refusing to wear "comfortable" clothes all day.  I mean I want to be comfortable.  I just want to be comfortable in something other than running pants.  I'd say 90% of my wardrobe this year was tshirts and running pants and my new balance.  And there's nothing wrong with that if that's your style.  But it isn't mine.  I used to (and still do, despite appearances) really love clothes and dressing up and makeup and doing my hair.  It was something that made me feel better.  Something I enjoyed.  So much so that I'm considering cosmetology school when the kids start elementary school.  By not doing something so simple as putting on a twirly skirt instead of my 10 year old adidas shorts, I feel like I'm letting a little piece of myself slip away.  Why do I even have shorts from 10 years ago?  Pack rat.  I know this probably all sounds silly, but silly or not, my resolution is about making myself feel better.  I look forward to the days when Charlie and David will want to pick out what they want to wear and start to explore their own personal style.  And in the meantime, I look forward to dressing them (these days Charlie looks like shes taking her cues from Cyndi Lauper.  Girls just wanna have fun!).  I know that being a mom takes a lot of sacrifice.  It's time and energy and sleepless nights and running to the store 9 times a day because you can't keep lists straight in your brain like you used to.  I know all of that.  I just don't think you have to sacrifice every single hour of your day to be a mom.  Frankly, as a mom of two, if I didn't give myself that one hour or two, I'd absolutely go insane.  It isn't healthy.  And they nap.  I can use nap time to get dressed.  Then I'm sacrificing nothing.  I'm just saying - I don't want to look back 18 years from now, when the kids go off to Harvard on full ride scholarships to become world famous doctors that will travel to third world countries and heal all the sick children and find a cure for AIDS and cancer, and not even know who I am anymore.  To just be a hollow shell, unable to function because I don't have kids to raise.  You never stop being a mother.  I know that.  Ask my mom.  And my stepmom.  I call them all the time, needing them to mommy me.  But I never want to stop being me either.

And to start my resolution I ordered these:

I debated forever over the past few hours on whether or not to get them.  They're only $30 and I've wanted a pair of these shoes from Urban Outfitters since they started carrying them (I believe it was Spring/Summer of this year).  So for roughly 6 or 7 months I've been pinning for these shoes.  With a little bit of Christmas money sitting in my bank account and an overwhelming desire to have a real life pick me up right there in my closet, I got brave and clicked the "Purchase Now" button.  And in 5-7 business days, they'll be mine. I dont know...I guess I'll vaccum in them....

Presents!

More Christmas pictures of the baybays getting gift bombed! 

(I got more pictures at Mawmaw's house because my phone was starting to die by the time we got to my parents.  They were equally bombed over there.  And through the mail by my mom in Indiana.)

BTW, putting presents under the tree after the kids go to bed is AWESOME.  Now I see why Santa likes it so much ;)

Also worth noting - this was my (and the babies) very first white Christmas, brief as the snow was.  Awesome!

I hope everyone's was as merry as ours!

Christmas Bonanza!!!

That's what I'd call this year's Christmas.  A bonanza.  A bonkers bananas bonanza.

Where to start?

Well, why not start with Christmas Eve.  We were all supposed to go to Joe's family get together that they have every Christmas Eve.  I missed it last year because the babies were way too small and fragile to get out of the house in the cold.  I mean they were like 4 and 5 pounds.  Uh, wee tiny, yeah?  They are no longer fragile.  I've checked.  I wouldn't say I've dropped them to see.  Wait.  I wouldn't say I've intentionally dropped them to see.  I'm kidding.  Ish. 

I was really glad I was going to get to go to the get together this year.  I really love Joe's family.  They are almost literally like a giant hug.  All of'm.  If I was looking for the Christmas spirit, it was going to be at this gathering.  But all of a sudden people started dropping like flies.  Our two little cousins were throwing up from flu and Joe's poor sister was coming down with some flu like stuff of her own.  Sickness was every where.   People in Walmart were in masks.  It was like a store full of Michael Jacksons (RIP).  So Joe and I felt it was in the best interest of the kids to take them home and keep them away from any chance of getting sick, especially with Charlie in a cast.  I stayed home with them and they were safe from germs.  Or so we thought.  Christmas morning, 1:30am.  Charlie and Davey both wake up screaming.  Charlie was in pain from her hip.  I went into Davey's room to get him.  Immediately, with the lights off and everything, I knew he was sick.  He sounded awful.  Like he'd swallowed a freight train and it was trying to get out.  His temp was 102.  I gave Charlie her pain meds and Davey some tylenol and crossed my fingers for a better morning.  We got up again around 6am.  Stayed in our Christmas pj's and proceeded to Mawmaw and Pawpaw's (Joe's folks).  Davey still sounded pretty bad but his fever had broken.  And Charlie was happy as a lark.  We opened gifts, the kids got spoiled, all was well.  We were ready to make the trek to my parents.  But Davey was getting worse.  He had this terrible barking cough.  It was so painful to hear.  Awful.  Poor baby.  We got to my parents house, opened more gifts.  Davey was getting worse by the minute.  He looked to pitiful.  Worried that Charlie might get what he had, we decided to take Davey to Joe's parents and I'd keep Charlie at our house.  That would keep her safe from germs. 

I gotta stop thinking I can keep them safe from germs.

Fast forward to Monday morning.  Who has a fever?  Charlie and myself.  Luckily, Charlie just had a low grade fever (though she had it all day) and we both just had a cold.  Manageable.  Davey, however, had to go to the ER in Grenada after had several consecutive high fevers, topping out at 103.  He had the croup.  Why have I always thought the croup was more like an expression?  Like, I've got the crud or I've just got a bug.  The croup, yous guys, is, like, a totally real, diagnosable thing.  And apparently it's not so fun.  They gave him steroids and breathing treatments and apparently, he turned into Linda Blair from The Exorcist, when she does that crab walk really fast down the stairs.  He was like David Lee Roth in the 80's.  PAR-TAY!!!

We saw our pediatrician today, all is well, no more need for Davey to dance with the white lady, bye bye meds, hello sleep (we hope).  It was a good Christmas, despite all the fevers.  My favorite part was spending time with my family.  My second favorite part is how spoiled my kids got.  They so deserve it.

Let the apocalypse begin!!!

Back Back Back

We're heading back to Jackson today.  Bleh.  It's just a check up, thankfully.  The doctor wants to do some xrays to make sure Charlie's leg is staying in the hip socket like it should.  Seriously, when I describe what she's gone through, with the putting her leg into it's socket, cutting the bone, putting a plate in her hip...doesnt it sound awful?  Grown up me would be a TOTAL baby about all this.  I guess thats the silver lining.  Babies don't care so much.  The don't know how to milk it just yet.  Babies aren't total babies about things.  Ha. Weird.

The upside to this trip is that I'll actually get to do a little Christmas shopping today!  I haven't Christmas shopped yet.  What's today?  Oh, yeah, it's the 23rd.  PLENTY of time.  Geeeeez.  I'm so glad my family is on board with a simple Christmas this year.  With all the stress surrounding everyone, why add more?  Gift buying is really nice, I know.  But at this point it's just intense pressure.  And it's making me feel guilty.  Cue the Christmas spirit, please!  Ok. 

I don't have any current pictures to post of the babies because Davey is with Joe's parents since we have an early morning and Charlie is enjoying Yo Gabba Gabba in her bouncy chair.  If I try to sneak in the living room to take a picture of her, she'll see me, and thus the seperation anxiety will rear it's ugly head and she'll cry all morning, every time I leave the room.

So I'll post an older picture, because I want to post pictures of my kids.  They are the best.  Show'm off, yo!

My favorite nerd.

Ben Folds is SO COOOOOOOL!  You know it.  I know it. 

I don't know if you watched The Sing-Off over the past few weeks, but as opposed to last year, this year was AWESOME.  So good.  So much talent.  Really worth watching.  One of my favorite groups on the show (and runner up!) was the Nashville group, Street Corner Symphony.  On the finale of the show this past Monday, all of the judges each performed with one of the final four groups.  Ben Folds, who was one of the judges (random but rad), performed his song "Gone" with Street Corner Symphony and it was the epitome of nerdy wonderful awesomeness. 

Love. It.



If thats not a sweet little Christmas gift to all of our hearts and ears, I don't know what is!

Btw, interesting to know, Ben Folds also has Boy/Girl twins.  And that is part of why he and I are the coolness.

Gun show

Let me just say, this is not me showing off.  I am grossed out by how big my arms have gotten thanks to having twins.  That's a lot of lifting.  And I know it's probably not even that impressive to anyone else, but I'm not an athletic girl.  I used to run and still try to, sure.  That's running.  Nothing to do with arms.  I think that last, stubborn, 4 or 5 pounds of baby weight I need to lose is in my dang arms.  The babies will only get heavier, though.  And while Davey should be walking soon, Charlie won't be and she's got 3 extra pounds of cast on her.  So the gun show will be around till at least this summer.  Get your tickets.  Call the vet - these puppies are sick (dad).

(P.S. Please ignore how trashy the room behind me is.  It's the guest room/sewing room.  Aka the only room that never gets cleaned.  Poor little room...)

Ear Candy

Have you heard the new Dirty Projectors album?  I previewed the whole thing a few weeks ago on iTunes and it's ab fab.  I've had Canibal Resource playing in my car over and over again.  When I had lunch with my bff, Laura Beth, today, she made me a mixed cd featuring the song No Intention.  It's on my computer and I hadn't even listened to it!  Horrible.  Thank you, Lb, for bringing it to my full attention. 

Let us now rock on.

Reunited and it feels so good!

Since we've been home from the hospital, we haven't had Davey at home.  He and Joe have stayed with his parents about 10 miles down the road so that we could give Charlie her space while she was healing.  It's hard to explain to a 13 month old boy why he cant play with his sister like he used to.  And that hot pink cast would be the first thing he would want to play with and jump on and hit.  Bad news.  But today we thought we could put them back together, or at least try it out.  And I'm happy to report its going swimmingly.  Davey has totally stayed out of Charlie's grill.  When he gets near her, they just share toys and act like the sweet babies they are.  It's good stuff. 

Btw, this is what a real living toom looks like when you've got babies.  I straighten it up 3-4 times a day.  It makes no difference.  It takes 3-4 seconds for the babies to tear it up.  And they do it so well.

Uh, don't act like that isn't precious.  Don't you do it.  It's precious.  They're precious.

It's been a great mini family reunion today.  Let's hope we can all sleep under one roof.  That's the real test, folks.

Happy Birthday!

Today is one of my dearest friends birthdays.  Just about anyone who knows me, knows Tara Ingram is in my top 5 of all time favorite people.  They know we're the peanut butter to the others jelly.  I am so blessed to know Tara and to have had her in my life for 7 years now.  We have been through more than most friendships ever go through.  And we've never gotten in a fight.  It's true.  You can ask her.  We just get through things...together. 

Tara has been by my side for so long and I hope she never leaves.  When I couldn't walk, I literally could not walk, Tara did everything for me.  She made sure I was happy.  She did everything for me.  If I needed a place to live, my oil changed, someone to cry to, someone to make fun of, someone to shop with, someone to help me figure out the most difficult things in life, Tara was/is there.  You really couldnt meet a more remarkable person.  Last year, when the babies were born, Tara had just gotten into the Nashville city limits when I called and said the babies were here.  She turned her car around right then and drove FOUR hours back to the hospital.  She stayed with me, on a cot, in the hospital, for 3 nights.  She cried when she left Joe and the babies and me.  She loves us and we love her.  She is part of who I am.  She was at my sister's wedding.  She threw the babies a birthday party.  She is so amazing.  I know that I am the luckiest person to call her a best friend.  The only thing that makes me sad is that I havent known her my entire life.  Selfish, I know.  But my kids will know her their whole lives.  And that makes up for it.

Tara Lynn, I love you so.  Happy birthday!!!

Thanks and more thanks

I just wanted to make a quick note that I appreciate everyones love and support as we braved through last week.  It was one of the harder things Joe and I have experienced as parents and having so many people send their best wishes really did help.  Now that we're all home and happy I can't help but think it's because of all the good thoughts and prayers.  You're what brought us home.  We are so lucky. 

Thank you to my parents and Joe's parents as well, for watching our little Davey dude.  He's absolutely adorable and funny and awesome, so I'm sure it was a treat, despite being exhausting (he is a little boy after all - sooooo much energy!).  We are thankful everyday that we have such great families to help us at a moments notice.  It makes getting through this sort of thing a lot easier.  Not everyone has that kind of family, and we know that.  And we know because we are so lucky to, it will result in our children becoming the most loving, amazing people.  Our family shapes our kids every day.  At 13 months, they're already the best people anyone could know.

We love all of you, so very much. 

They love you too.  You can tell by their blank stares and food faces. 

Animals are my friends!

We don't watch a ton of tv in our house, but with Charlie in her current state, it's good to have a few baby friendly dvds on hand.  There's only so many ways you can entertain a child while she's immobile.  I've got 4 or 5 kids dvds that we've used before when it's about 5pm, both kids are teething and screaming and we're just trying to hold them off till bedtime.  Yo Gabba Gabba is one of those dvds.  Now, a lot of my friends with kids love this show.  They have fun guests (like Elijah Wood, Jack Black...) and good bands that do fun songs (like The Shins, The Little Ones...).  But after watching it, it's still, I dare say, super annoying.  I mean I get how it's awesome to a kid.  It's bright and colorful and cheery and it encourages eating your veggies and brushing your teeth and wearing a helmet when you skateboard and apologizing when you knock over someones sand castle.  I appreciate the lessons and the way Yo Gabba Gabba goes about teaching it to kids.  But it's annoying.  Having never really done drugs, I can't see it's appeal for an adult either.

That being said, they do occasionally have cartoons and songs on Yo Gabba Gabba that I do like.  "There's a Party in My Tummy" being one of them.  "Be Nice To Animals!" is my favorite though.  It's awesome.  And adorable.  And I'd listen to it on my iPod daily if I ever had the time to just sit and listen to my iPod.

Anyway, here it is. 

(To my sister, Rachel, if you're reading this, I know this will be your new all time favorite song ever.  So you're welcome.)

There's no place like home

There really, really isn't. The past two days have been a lot of Charlie snuggling. And I mean a lot. It's been pretty magical.

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of spending a lot of time with Charlie, she is NOT a cuddler. She's completely independent. She never gets rocked to sleep or drinks her sippy cup in your lap. She just wants to do it herself. So it's been a rare treat to have her so needy for her mom. All she wants to do is lay on me and nap and chat and nap again. And while I hate the reason she is so tired, I prefer to look at it is a bright side.

She's still pretty dopey right now, but it's been gradually wearing off. She's definitely a little more lively every day. But things like diaper changes or anytime I pick her up out of her bouncy chair, clearly hurt her. She's still pretty sore and we're giving her loratab 3 or 4 times a day for now. It doesn't totally take her down though. I gave her some about an hour ago and right at this moment she's dancing quite vigorously to "Step Into Christmas" by Elton John. She knows good music.

Speaking of diaper changes, in case you're curious, this is what I'm working with now that she's in a spica cast:

That's not a lot of room, now is it?  Her appetite hasn't returned to normal and might not for awhile so dirty diapers have yet to be a real issue.  I have to change her much more frequently to make sure her cast doesnt get wet.  She also has an incision on the inside of her thigh that can easily get wet so I have to keep that as clean as possible.  It's a challenge, but as time goes by I'm sure we'll master the art.  That or she'll have a cast that always smells like poop.  Let's hope for the first one.  Let's hope really hard, guys.

Dressing her in baby leg warmers and 12-18 month shirts and skirts has been the way to go.  And it's adorable.  My sister sent me some links to some super cute diaper covers so that will help with getting rid of that diaper we have to put on top of the cast to hold the other diaper in place.  We already have twins.  I'm using up enough diapers for triplets!  No thanks.  That's money, dawg.

She can sit in her high chair, but like I said, she has no appetite, so she hasn't been in it often.  She's drinking whole milk now, but I've been throwing oatmeal in the bottle just to make sure she has some food on her tummy, especially since she's taking pain meds.  She loves sitting in her bouncy seat and we got her a bean bag to snuggle in.  She's got a good attitude about it all.  She even stood up today!  The doctor said she could learn to walk in this cast.  I know if she wants to, she will. She's an incredibly determined baby.  That being said, it is beyond all comprehension how she'll do that.  But go for it!

She's a brave little toaster. 

I wish you could see her right at this moment.  Dancing to the Muppets Christmas now.  She's so sweet and well behaved and enjoyable as she claps when Miss Piggy sings "...five goooooooolden rings..."  It is the best part.  I'm glad we share favorites.

Christmas feels merry again.

must...cheer...up...

The Christmas spirit is starting to drain out of me.  How do you stay positive when this fever of Charlie's won't go away and both of us have been sleeping on this thing:

...just how do you stay positive?

I guess you just remember what it's all about.  What you're grateful for.  Why we're here.  Who's making sure we're ok. 

Play it again Linus...

Hospital Day Three

Day three?  Day three. Ugh.  Hospitals, though I appreciate what they do and why they exist, suck.  Everythings cold and concrete and florescent and clinical.  I know it's supposed to be.  That doesn't mean I have to like it.

So around 5pm last night, the nurse came around to check her vitals per usual.  I'd noticed that Charlie's cheeks had gotten really flushed and she was hot all over.  Being in a spica cast will raise your body temp already, so thats to be expected.  But now she was so red in the face and I suspected a fever (also pretty normal after surgery, if it's low grade).  They took her temp and sure enough it was around 99.  Not a big deal.  Just keep an eye on it.  They took her temp an hour later - 101.7.  Pretty warm, but still ok all things considered.  Another hour after that - 103.1.  My heart dropped.  Was it infection?  Pneumonia?  It's not a number you want to hear concerning your little baby. I know there are much worse things to hear or deal with, but in that moment, it felt like the worst.  We're supposed to go home.  I just want to go.  What if we can't go home...

So pitiful.

I know that sounds selfish, but I just want to take my baby home where I can rock her and she can have her comfy things and her bed and her brother. 

She's been taking loratab for pain which has some tylenol in it, but the liquid stuff smells like paint thinner and shes been spitting it out when they give it to her.  So they had to give her a tylenol suppository.  Fortunately, that worked pretty quickly and within an hour the fever was gone.  Around 3am it was back up to 102.7, they gave her another round of tylenol, and within 30 minutes the fever was gone.  The nurse said if the pain is manageable with tylenol that probably rules out infection and her lungs sound good so that rules out pneumonia.  Which means all of this is probably what I hoped and assumed: a lot of stress.  It could be something like a urinary tract infection because she's on a catheter right now.  Let's hope not.

A doctor just came in and said they might want to keep her another night just to make sure everything checks out.  Ultimately it's our doctor's call.  So we'll see.  I want whatever is best for her, of course. 

She's pretty worn out today.  It's been a long few days.  The spasms are getting pretty bad and they keep her from sleeping.  And you can tell she just wants to sleep.  It's hard to watch.  It's hard to not be able to do anything.  But they'll go away.  We just have to ride the wave.

Trooper pooper scooper.

She's awesome.

What the what

Alright, maybe it's the lack of sleep.  Maybe I'm just a little too stressed and too tired to really handle any sort of annoyance at all.  But what the crap is this about?!

Why in God's name would you cram that soap dispenser so tightly behind the motion sensor towel dispenser?  Why? Is it funny to make paper towels shoot out into the sink while someones trying to reach uncomfortably for some friggin soap to wash their hands?  I submit it is not funny.  It is annoying and stupid.  Eli Manning put a lot of money into this hospital.  Im gonna tell his big dumb face what you guys did when you put this sink in.  He's gonna be so mad.  I mean you probably won't be able to tell.  He'll just have that mouth half open dumb stare on his face, but on the inside, flames.  FLAMES.

Im just saying its dumb.  This is dumb. 

Im tired.

Hospital Day Two

Charlie came out of surgery just fine yesterday.  The doctor said everything went exactly as planned.  Had to cut the bone and trim a lot of tissue to make the ball joint fit into the socket, but it's in there now.  We just have to keep our fingers crossed that it stays in the socket.  Hopefully the cast will do it's job. 

In the meantime, Charlie is mostly just sleeping of all the medicine that was pumped into her yesterday.  Surgery for 6 hours means a lot of anesthesia.  She opened her eyes every once in awhile yesterday, but went right back to sleep.  We finally got her to take a bottle of milk last night, but she hasn't really eaten anything yet.  She's on an IV right now, though, so she doesnt have to eat.  She can just sleep.  She was pretty swollen yesterday from all the medicine and all the tubes and procedures.  She didn't look a lot like Charlie when we first saw her.  But the swelling has gone down and her sweet little face and other than looking sleepy, she's Charlie as we knew her. 

Today she's more aware of the pain. She's opened her eyes a lot more.  She cries out but its not very loud because she had a tube in her throat during surgery and she's pretty froggy.  The surgery she had causes these spasms that are pretty startling, but the doctor said that was pretty standard.  They've been giving her valium for the pain and she pretty much needs it every three hours.  But again, this is pretty standard.  In fact this is almost exactly like last time.  Which, I guess, is a good sign.  It means she's progressing like she should.  Charlie is a trooper, you guys.  She's a straight up super hero.

We've kept the room kinda dark so she can relax and sleep but here are a few pictures I did snap yesterday of her and the cast (she doesn't look like a turtle at all.  I dont think our doctor has ever seen a turtle.  Sad.):

Im ready to get her out of all of the hospital gowns and blankets and back into her regular jammies and cute cuddly blankets.  But she's comfortable and sleeping and thats whats important, so we'll leave her alone.  We're going to Target tonight after she goes down for the evening.  Maybe I'll get her some cute jammies and a robe and some new bunny slippers.  We plan to get her a baby bean bag chair which should make sitting easier and more comfortable.  She won't be able to sit up like she used to, but she should still be able to sit in her high chair and in bouncy chairs.  The doctor said she may be able to walk if she really wants to.  But that's later down the road.  Today, we're resting, we're happy she's doing so well, we're looking forward to going home tomorrow, we're missing brother, and we're all hanging in there.

Thanks to everyone for the love, thoughts, prayers, and support.  They've all been working!

Important to note

With everything Charlie is going through and all the (deserved) attention she's going to get over the next little while, I just want to note that thing that will make her the happiest, will be seeing this guy again on Thursday.  Last time she had surgery, Mawmaw brought Davey over to see Charlie right when we got back from the hospital.  It would've made you cry to see how happy they were to see each other.  Davey is the best big brother ever.  That whole minute older he is than Charlie has given him so much older brother wisdom.  You can see it in his eyes.  He has so many things to pass down to Charlie.  He can warn her about things he tripped over when he learned to walk and about things she can reach when she gets as tall as him.  A wise old owl.

He loves his sister.  He's had her back from the beginning.

We know the nicest people.

"Tiny Dancer" is a song I sing to my Charlie quite often.  Because she is my tiny dancer.  With all of this stuff going on with her legs, I just picture her on the other side of all of it, dancing.  Good dancer, bad dancer, whatever. She's just dancing.  Happy and dancing. 

Anyway, so I saw that a group of people I love got together and made a video about my tiny dancer.  I guess they wanted to make sure she knew they were thinking about her.  It's so sweet.  You can tell how concerned they are for her well being.  How sad they are that she's having to go through all these surgeries.  Just watch our friend Billy's face!  He's so upset.  But towards the end of this video they made her, they're all so happy and singing her song to her.  I guess they started picturing my tiny dancer dancing the same way I picture it.



Aren't they sweet?  We really do know the nicest people.

The surgeon just called and said things are going slow but that she's doing wonderfully.  That's my tiny dancer...

2 hours down...

3 more to go.  It feels like it's been forever already!  Not even halfway done.  Im quite sure I've never been this tired.  Ever.  Ever.  Ever.  Apparently Charlie was hip to what was going to happen today, because she woke up at midnight and never really went back to sleep.  This never happens.  Charlie is my good little sleeper.  I can honestly say she hasn't woken up like this since she was about 6 or 7 months old.  A fact I'm very proud of.  I think she may have noticed her brother wasn't there at dinner time, or bath time, or story time...he was no where to be found.  And that usually only means one thing - hospital time.  So Joe and I are running on two hours of sleep.  We'll be sharing one of those pull out chairs thats about the size of a twin bed for the next 2 nights while Charlie recovers.  Needless to say, by the time we go home, we'll be near hollow shells. 

I feel terrible for complaining.  Charlie is having to endure so much more than we are.  And she's totally tough about it.  I'm being the baby here.  But lawd I'm tired!

Enough of that.

Wanna see some pictures of Charlie just before she went back for surgery?  I know you do.

Enjoying some q.t. with the Corduroy bear Grandma sent her.

Gracious.  Smushie face baby.

She's delightful. 

They gave her this valium like syrup to keep her calm while she waited to go back.  She's already a pretty funny baby, but when she's baby drunk?  Hilarious.  And everything was hilarious to her.  The doctor will be shortening the bone in her left leg so that they'll be able to fit the ball joint of her femur into her hip socket.  Then they'll put her in a cast that will be similar to the one she had before, but it will cover half of her other leg as well.  I think thats to make sure that cast is good and secure while her leg and hip are assuming their correct position.  She'll be in the cast for 8-10 weeks, out of a cast for 3 or 4 weeks, and then she'll have the same surgery on the other leg, in a cast for 8-10 weeks, and hopefully done after that. 

All I know is that if this child wants a pony and a tiara made of real diamonds and a Corvette when she's 16, she'll most certainly be getting it.

Until then, we wait...

(I wish the lady next to me would stop burping not so discretely next to me. Guh-ross.)

The truth about lunch time...

It's all smiles!  We've got Wilco going on the stereo, corn and peas and carrots and whole wheat noodles and cheese and bananas, we're singing and dancing and eating...

It is also buhsgusting...

Little Readers

My kids are so cool.  They could care less about tv and silly distractions.  They love to just sit in a pile of books on the floor and flip through page after page.  And I love to watch them enjoy that.  My mom was a librarian and reading was a pretty heavily enforced ritual in our home.  I'm so glad that it was.  I can associate so many favorite childhood memories with books.  Most noteably this time of year, I can remember we'd sit together and read Twas the Night Before Christmas before bed all through December.  Having heard it so many times, though I couldn't read at the time, I knew what words were on each page based on the pictures.  I especially loved the part when I got to say "...eight TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINY reindeer."  I was a dramatic reader, I guess.

My mom's been sending books to the kids over the past couple of months.  She has a running list on Amazon.  There are books she finds on kids book review lists that she'll send, but I personally love that she's been sending some of my favorite childhood books.

I am SO excited to own these!  I love how seeing books from my childhood brings back so many happy memories.  I love that BOOKS can do that.  I hope that same thing for my kids.

While looking through these books I realized why I love the colors that I do...

Im just so excited to share all this magic with Charlie and Davey.  I can't wait till they are old enough to not rip up pages out of paper books.  But I shouldn't go wishing away time.  For now, The Snowy Day is in board book form and is totally appropriate right now, anyway!  We read it the other night, all snuggled up in the bed and it was basically perfect. 

First stockings

(Because I suck and didnt put up any last year)

My Christmas Resolution

Next Christmas we will not spend ANY part of December in a hospital.  I realize I may be jinxing myself here, but I've got an entire year to make up for that by knocking on wood and earning good kharma and finding a store online that still sells rabbit's feet.  Last December the babies were still in the NICU in Tupelo.  Every day would get a little closer to Christmas and I remember being more on edge than I have ever been.  I just wanted them home already!  We got our wish and they made it home just in time.  But they were still so tiny and it was so cold and we were kinda trapped in our house, exhausted, stressed over these new little birds in our house, and sad that we were kind of just skipping over Christmas.  This year things are different.  And while I hate that we will be spending two nights in a hospital yet again this December, I know that Christmas this year will feel like Christmas.  I really don't feel like Charlie will be too miserable in her cast.  She was the happiest baby in the last cast.  She's so tough.  Such a little fighter.  She'll figure out how to do anything she wants to within a week, tops. 

I'm excited about Christmas this year.  One of my sisters will be home.  We'll all gather with Joe's family and then my family and my kids will surely be spoiled rotten (as they deserve to be) and we'll eat, drink, and be merry. 

I called my dad the other morning and told him I really wanted to do the no gift Christmas thing this year.  Not that we cant afford to buy some small things for people.  Not that we don't want to.  But after two years in a row, spending time in hospitals, and all of us having these major life changes over the past year, wouldn't it be great just to have a day to stop, enjoy each other in the comfort of our pj's, and really take stock in whats important?  I don't mean to sound all Linus here, but if I do, there could be worse people to sound like.  Maybe it's having a family of my own now that has me all sentimental, but my true Christmas wish is just to spend time with Joe and I's family.  The laughter and the smiles and the warmth...thats the stuff that helps you ride all the way through the next year until Christmas comes around again.  It's how we get by.

All that being said, my dad was so excited and on board with the idea.  However, he informed me, he'd already picked up a little something for me.  But said it wasnt a Christmas present.  Just a thing he thought I'd like:

Say whaaaaaaat?!  My daddy loves me.  Did you know?  I knew.  I plan to use it in, oh, about 30 minutes.  Time to break it in!

In the meantime, please enjoy the ones you love, the ones that love you, the fact that it's December, the fact that you all RULE, and some favorite things...

What I love waking up to these past few mornings...

Teef brushes for baybays!  We had our one year check up and the pediatrician gave us the green light to start brushing!  We'd actually had a tooth brush for Davey because his first four teeth came in all at once, and now he's got 6 working on 8!  But poor Charlie bird...she's got the bottom two and that's it.  She's in NO rush to get more.  It doesn't slow her down from eating big people food.  But it's a little funny to see this toothless wonder next to her brother with a mouth full.  Eh, who needs teeth anyway...