Anyone else think resolutions are kind of silly? I think resolutions kind of set us up to fail. Rarely is a resolution an actual realistic goal. But this year I think I'd like to think of resolutions in a different way.
I was thinking the other night about what my New Year's resolution would be. It was funny because I was thinking about it in this obligatory way. Like, "oh man! It's almost New Years and I haven't thought of a resolution. Better get crackin!", as though the New Year's police might take me away to New Years jail if I don't come up with something. Then I thought about how New Year's resolutions are actually kind of a nice concept. The idea of taking time out, maybe even just that one time a year, to stop, think, and really evaluate what you'd like to improve about yourself or your life. Everything and everyone deserves to feel the rewards of striving to be better. We should all be the best versions of ourselves. And while that's hard to do (like for instance when you have baby poop on your hands), it's a good thing to try to do.
So this year I'm going to make my resolution more about making myself feel better and by extension being a happier person so that I can be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend. And while it sounds superficial, I'm going to start by refusing to wear "comfortable" clothes all day. I mean I want to be comfortable. I just want to be comfortable in something other than running pants. I'd say 90% of my wardrobe this year was tshirts and running pants and my new balance. And there's nothing wrong with that if that's your style. But it isn't mine. I used to (and still do, despite appearances) really love clothes and dressing up and makeup and doing my hair. It was something that made me feel better. Something I enjoyed. So much so that I'm considering cosmetology school when the kids start elementary school. By not doing something so simple as putting on a twirly skirt instead of my 10 year old adidas shorts, I feel like I'm letting a little piece of myself slip away. Why do I even have shorts from 10 years ago? Pack rat. I know this probably all sounds silly, but silly or not, my resolution is about making myself feel better. I look forward to the days when Charlie and David will want to pick out what they want to wear and start to explore their own personal style. And in the meantime, I look forward to dressing them (these days Charlie looks like shes taking her cues from Cyndi Lauper. Girls just wanna have fun!). I know that being a mom takes a lot of sacrifice. It's time and energy and sleepless nights and running to the store 9 times a day because you can't keep lists straight in your brain like you used to. I know all of that. I just don't think you have to sacrifice every single hour of your day to be a mom. Frankly, as a mom of two, if I didn't give myself that one hour or two, I'd absolutely go insane. It isn't healthy. And they nap. I can use nap time to get dressed. Then I'm sacrificing nothing. I'm just saying - I don't want to look back 18 years from now, when the kids go off to Harvard on full ride scholarships to become world famous doctors that will travel to third world countries and heal all the sick children and find a cure for AIDS and cancer, and not even know who I am anymore. To just be a hollow shell, unable to function because I don't have kids to raise. You never stop being a mother. I know that. Ask my mom. And my stepmom. I call them all the time, needing them to mommy me. But I never want to stop being me either.
And to start my resolution I ordered these: